By Jody Thompson
Last updated at 9:59 PM on 28th July 2011
It was possibly around the time that I was crossing my arms to make a man dressed as the rabbit from Donnie Darko change direction. Or perhaps it was when I had to make a 'bunny ears' sign with my fingers to make him follow me so that I could graduate from a 'reality test' set at the start of the festival that I realised I was totally under the spell of the Secret Garden Party yet again.
A four-day fantastical al fresco fandango founded in 2004, it was my seventh year at a bash which has just got better and better over the years to maintain its position as the best event of its kind in the UK, if not the world.
A magical mix of music, art, surreal sights, non-stop parties and carefully orchestrated chaos, it's the friendliest festival on the planet, to the extent even rubbish is at a minimum as everyone clears up after themselves in true courteous community spirit.
High energy: Leftfield headlined the Secret Garden Party on the Saturday night this year and got the massed festivalgoers rocking
Set in the stunning Capability Brown landscaped grounds of a mansion near Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire, as soon as you step foot on site you are transported away from everyday life into a wonderland of bacchanalian revellery in which it truly feels like you're part of a unique - if dysfunctional - family with your fellow gardeners.
Attention to detail is everywhere, from the lack of branding from sponsors to the unique gourmet food stalls (thanks in particular to the delicious offerings from the Goan Fish Curry stall), to the festival goers themselves pulling out the stops to dress up.
This year's theme was Origins And Frontiers, but it could be interpreted however you wanted. Mostly, girls were resplendent in wood fairy-esque flower head garlands with lashings of glitter and brightly-coloured wigs. That pretty much went for the men too.
Some of the best costumes on site rather inexplicably included three men dressed as the Jamaican bobsled team, complete with sled, and someone dressed as a men at work roadsign, complete with shovel. How he managed to get into or out of the portable toilets remains unclear.
There are mind-bending, thought-provoking, or smile-inducing sights at every step. A giant sequinned sculpture of the word 'YES' floats in the lake near a giant dragonfly in the centre of the water on an island on which dozens of people dance under the midday sun as swans glide by.
Tide is high: Thousands packed before the main Great Stage to sing along to Blondie for one of the highlights at the festival near Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire
A few more steps, and a tree has branches filled with bird cages stuffed with clocks, while another's trunk has been yarn bombed with a giant knitted jumper - all the better for hugging.
A stage floats at the side of the lake packed with people dancing as people row lazily past in boats. Some braver souls strip naked to swim with the moorhens.
A mysterious giant glitter arrow hangs above a dark corridor next to a stall selling Kigu costumes, giant animal suits that are the latest craze in Japan. A midnight meander down the zigzagging alley lit with neon stripes eventually and unexpectedly disgorges you into a full-blown rave, where mansize pandas threw shapes next to ladyshaped dogs and dinosaurs.
A short hokeycokey away is the Dance Off stage, built to resemble a wild west saloon with a boxing ring as the area of combat between two fleet footed competitors, and where the roars of the crowd dictate who has the best steps.
A wander across site past giant swings hanging in the trees brings you to the Collosillyum, an enormous ampitheatre made of a straw bales and scaffolding which houses a round-the-clock party. At one point as we walk past, an MC is encouraging brave souls to crowd surf across the dancing masses using actual surfboards and at other times, the SGP Mud Wrestling Federation was in full swing.
In a far-flung corner of the site, the Artful Badger area is a magical, fairylit copse which saw dancing to a souped up version of Frankie Laine's Ghost Riders In The Sky at 2am on Sunday morning.
Just magical: The four day bash is unlike any other festival in the UK - if not the world
Near the tent where I had undertaken my 'reality test' on Friday - sample questions from the men dressed as psychedelic scientists from the Inevitable University 'What is more real? Red or blue? Unicorns or vampires?' - is the Asstrology tent, where apparently, a quick feel of a bottom can help predict the bearer's future.
We could have listened in to expert lectures from the likes of Bad Science academic Ben Goldacre at the Guerilla Science and The Forum tents too, launched ourselves into a huge ballpit soundtracked by jungle and dubstep, posted a letter to anyone on the site via the Secret Postal service or chilled at Chai Wallahs for acoustic music and a shisha.
However, experiencing your end of days at It's Your Funeral as a ceremony is conducted around you as you lay in a six foot deep hole in the ground was a bit too dark a concept perhaps - and the naked rave we witnessed perhaps a bit too free.
You could ground yourself in other ways however at The Source, a sanctuary on the edge of the site where a whole manner of holistic treatments were on offer.
Party lovers: Revellers at the Secret Garden Party are a rather unique breed too
I decided against a gong bath, reiki or an Ayurvedic Rope Massage and instead went for a spot of Zero Balancing, a gentle hands-on therapy based on principles of osteopathy and acupressure that claims to fix body and mind.
I spent a blissful half hour getting my troublesome back, neck and shoulders sorted in the open air under the sun to the sound of ducks quacking and a Bob Marley singalong on the main stage - thanks to the expert hands of London-based practitioner Lynne Carpenter.
My friend Rachel meanwhile visited the Pink Pamper Parlour's secret salon where she could have got a complete facial and aromatherapy body scrub, but plumped for a henna tattoo of a badger.
Yes, she'd been totally SGPed too...
One of the stand-out highlights was the shamanic burning of the giant dragonfly in the centre of the lake on Saturday night as dozens of fire jugglers surrounded the shore and hundreds of neon balloons where sent floating skywards before a massive firework display. It was phenomenal.
Another was a paint fight between a crowd of hundreds packed in front of the mainstage on Sunday evening. As if everyone wasn't colourful enough, after organisers had handed out hundreds of bags of powdered pigment, people were wandering around with their whole bodies in lurid shades of pink, purple, green and blue as a multi-hued haze hovered above.
Oh yes, and there was music.
Friday saw an uplifting set despite the rain from eccentric indie pop stalwarts Guillemots, with a satisfying surprise appearance from Belgian art rockers Das Pop before a wonderful closing set of wistful indiepop from Mystery Jets.
Closing ceremony: A huge powder paint fight, along with a ritual burning of a sculpture in the middle of the lake, have become SGP traditions
Saturday afternoon saw The Correspondents get the afternoon off to a swinging start before Blondie had the thousands massed at the main Great Stage singing along to One Way Or Another and The Tide Is High. It was left, ahem, to Leftfield to get the whole field bouncing to their booming electronic beats backed by some astonishing graphics on the big screens.
Some of the best musical treats however were to be found on the smaller stages. The Crossroads provided one of my favourite discoveries of the weekend, the fantastic Vintage Trouble at 1am on Saturday night/Sunday morning.
A modern soul-funk outfit from Hollywood, huge-voiced frontman Ty Taylor put in one of the most amazing performances of the weekend, and at one point was literally swinging from the rafters of the voodoo blues-styled canvas marquee with the crowd whooping and hollering in a frenzy below.
Divine harmonies wafted by the beautiful Where The Wild Things Are stage as Muscle Shoals, Alabama duo The Secret Sister sang their rootsy country melodies surrounded by a proscenium arch made entirely of tree branches on Sunday afternoon.
Alabama 3's (mostly) acoustic set was perfect for those chilling out on a perfect English summer afternoon after exerting themselves playing crazy golf, croquet or giant Buckaroo and Hungry Hippos. Their acoustic version of Joy Division's Love Will Tear Us Apart featuring the massive soul stylings of singer Aurora Dawn in tribute to Amy Winehouse caused the hundreds watching, rapt, to suddenly all get something in their eye...
The wonderful Bees then put the smile back on everyone's faces with their limb-bothering sunshine tunes including personal favourites Wash In The Rain, Chicken Payback and A Minha Menina.
Motown legends Martha Reeves And The Vandellas meanwhile rounded things off on Sunday night with the apt Heatwave after a day of unbridled sunshine, leaving the temporary inhabitants of the SGP sunburned but with fried synapses soothed - ready - as they'd ever be - to head back into the real world.
And how do you feel heading back home after a weekend of such festivities? Your face literally hurts from smiling. That's the secret spell of SGP. Roll on next year...
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